i am looking forward to the shadows tracing bones…

AHHH

There are days I feel as if I am more finely tuned to listening to the world. Days I feel like I am awake. Really awake. And these days, old habits and comfortable truths just seem like laziness to me. Or rather, ingratitude. Hope should never be replaced by assumption. These days, I hold my breath in tunnels, and I cry at night. I hope. I pray. I do my best never to assume. I am terrified that the sun may not return. I experience unbridled joy each time the sun does. But I tell myself constantly to never settle into the habit of expecting the sun to rise. I sit myself outside and I wait. I hope. I pray. I am here for the sun. I am here for the sun’s light and warmth. I am earnestly waiting. But I am not expecting the sun. I am hoping for the sun.

oh, we’re sinking like stones, all that we fought for, all those places we’ve gone, all of us are done for…

one of my absolute favorite feelings.

I walked today, around the town;
The night was young and clear of clouds,
The air tasted clean, like the promise of tomorrow,
Yet I was filled with such extreme sorrow,

And I could not describe to myself,
That emotion that I felt.
I looked to the azure ceiling,
And again, was filled with such feeling.

It was melancholy, yet it was hopeful.
It was nostalgic, yet it was so new.
It was forgiving, and so remorseful.
It engulfed me, but there was nothing to do.

My heart was brimming with emotion,
My mind swimming in silver memories.
I was lost in the earth’s delicate motion,
As I tried to hold the tremors within me.

And I felt, in that one moment,
So complete, and so utterly human,
Swept up in the heavens’ movement.
It enveloped me, but there was nothing to do.

So I sat today, and I watched the sun.
I watched as it bade me farewell,
I watched as it completed its daily run,
And I cried to myself as the night fell.

in your love, my salvation lies in your love…

sleep.

Gray as my breath is this day,
The steam rises with a swift grace,
And it takes with it my body’s warmth,
Away to the atmosphere, what it was meant for.

And if each exhalation in my life
Is not wasted on just me and what I have inside,
If each rise and fall of this chest of mine
Can bring the solitary stars in the sky
Any amount of comfort in their endless movement,
Then I’ll be happy with just that one accomplishment.